Three years ago a white water rafting adventure was presented and my response was YES! Sharing this option with my more conservative sister, she also said YES within minutes of seeing the promotional video. And then COVID happened and the trip was delayed a year, and then another year. A year ago, it was determined we were a ‘go’ and thus planning began for a January adventure. 

My sister, who resides in Minnesota, flew out for a pre-adventure dinner. She suggested a review of the promo video to help determine gear needed. Watching the video, my level of concern increased dramatically, like way, way up. I considered bailing. You see I’m not much of a swimmer nor a white water rafter so what was I thinking when that YES so easily popped out of my mouth?

I was not thinking. I was feeling! Trusting that intuitive feeling that knew this would be challenging on many levels and help me step forward in life differently. Still, thinking mind stepped in and I rationalized that my approach would be to sit in the middle and hang on for dear life, other people’s opinions ignored, close my eyes and breathe. That somehow, albeit irrationally, allowed my mind to calm enough to gather up gear and board the flight to Chile. 

After a second day of traveling, this time via prop planes and a bus, our group was deposited, not at our lodging, but near the edge of Futaleafu River. Here we donned wet suits and safety gear, and climbed aboard. We were expertly guided and oh, what a ride! After all my initial fear, it felt exhilarating to be in the swirling waters, cascading up and down, holding on or rowing. 

I returned changed; a palpable letting go of fear (at least some of it), and with a heightened willingness to take risks, to take a chance. 

“All our relationships are based on the relationship we have with ourself, and ultimately, the Self.”  Amrit Desai

This quote from my beloved teacher is one that invites me to invest in exploring the boundaries of my inner relationship, perhaps with a sometimes out-of-my boundary external experience and more often, with time of reflection. The experiences we have inform how we show up. 

Have you considered your comfort level with risk? There are various types of risk; ordering a new item on the menu, having a conversation that invites vulnerability, driving 120 mph (just saying, not suggesting). Depending on our willingness to step out of our comfort zone, and our perspective as to consequences, are all part of what influences our relationship with taking chances. With getting to know who we are, and who we are not. 

This is especially true for relationships, starting with how we relate to ourselves. We must take risk in any relationship to deepen the relationship. It can feel scary and uncertain, this diving into the recesses of what is and what is not a true part of ourself. We begin to see the cloaks that we wear that do not fit; it might be indifference, or striving to please others and not ourself, or struggling to fit in. It might be a mantle of kindness, peace and ease. We wear all of these, usually without awareness. Various practices help us feel what is authentic and what is not. And it is a practice, a journey of ongoing self-discovery. 

Taking Risks in Relationships

Do you consider yourself to be a risk-taker? How comfortable are you with stepping outside of your comfort zone, taking a chance? The amount of risk we are willing to take in relationships can vary depending on the type of relationship, our personality, and our past experiences.

In most cases, taking risks can leads to some change. For example, if we are willing to be vulnerable in a relationship, we may be able to build deeper intimacy or we could get hurt or disappointed. Both are necessary. 

Ultimately, the decision of whether to take a risk is a personal one. There is no right or wrong answer. 

The Relationship with Ourself

The relationship we have with ourselves is the foundation for all of our other relationships. If we are not comfortable with ourselves, it will be difficult to have healthy relationships with others.

One way to improve our relationship with ourselves is to take risks. When we take risks, we are stepping outside of our comfort zone and learning more about ourselves. We are also showing ourselves that we are capable of handling challenges.

Of course, taking risks can be scary. But it is important to remember that the potential rewards are great. When we take risks, we can grow and learn, and we can build a stronger relationship with ourselves.

Here are some tips for taking risks in relationships:

• Start small. If you pattern is stay in your comfort bubble, you might feel like it is a big leap to do certain things. So perhaps experiment by talking to someone new or trying a new food. 
• Be mindful of your thoughts and feelings. When taking a chance, self-doubt often comes knocking. Recognize it, take a few  deep breaths, and consider what feels appropriate from a place of more ease and calm. 
• Give yourself grace. Everyone makes mistakes. If you take a risk and it doesn't work out, be willing to forgive yourself and try again.
• Taking risks can be scary, but it is also an important part of life. When we take risks, we are opening ourselves up to new experiences and possibilities. We are also learning more about ourselves and the world around us. So when you are presented with a way to learn more about yourself, consider saying YES!  You might be surprised at what you discover.