Gazing Into 2020
For the past few days, the practice of candle gazing has been part of the beginning of my day. [There are many ways to do this, click here for suggestions.] Back to the candle and why it currently beckons:
The start of the flame, as it sputters and tries to find footing is often tenuous, uncertain.
Just like looking for an ongoing source of sustenance can be fraught with difficulty as I try to hold on to what I know, not giving another way much of a chance. For many people, this is especially significant this year as livelihoods, ways of connecting, routines and more are dismantled and left sputtering, perhaps not to be rekindled in ways we have come to know. What is there to let go that we hold on to ever so tightly? What is trying to be kindled in the midst of this time?
The dance of the flame invites attention to be focused.
The flame is unpredictable. Seemingly moving as if in a dance with something unseen and only imagined. I imagine the flame is intertwined in a dialogue of movement with another, perhaps me, as stillness permeates and the flame dances on. This year has been full of surprises, startling and staggering. An invitation to question the core of what we hold dear, what really matters, and allow the dance to draw us there. What fuels the flame of our discontent? What fans the flame of nourishment?
The flame mesmerizes.
Without doing anything and yet simply being, the flame captures attention and invites the mind to calm and allow the movement to be part of the stillness. 2020 has been a year of unanticipated headlines. It can be too much to take in, all consuming, and leading towards a downward spiral as if the sky were actually falling. It’s not, it just feels that way. While mesmerizing, we can also pull ourselves away to selectively pick the headlines that matter to us, only those. What headlines are worthy of our attention? What discussions support us? Might there be conversations that even captivate our sense of being?
The uncertainty of when the dance will end invites questioning.
I make a little candle as part of the candle gazing ritual and trust the flame will end when it is time. Sometimes impatience sets in and I question the practice and notice the desire to move on before it is finished. We often mark time with a calendar and dare expect that each year is new. So too each day. Each breath. Each moment of life we live brings us one moment closer to death of human form and invites us to dance fully now. Might we question and be present to the dance of 2020 even if it feels like two left feet are doing the movement, and each mired in concrete? Where is there lightness? Can we trust there, in those pockets where resistance softens?
Curious? Take a pause at the start of your morning or the end of your day, light a candle (or make your own) and allow your gaze to reflect on 2020. You might also consider joining me on a journey to consciously gaze at 2020, and decide what captivates and nourishes. Let’s hold on to that as we journey into the next year with eyes and heart open.